Unlikely Heroes: Kale and Tanuki's Adventure in Hoenn! (Also paused)
by Psycho Feline
Summary: Like any good Trainer, Kale has missed out on the chance to get his first starter. Birch still has one more Pokemon left up his sleeve though, but to Kale's dismay is nowhere near the consolation he had been expecting! Nonetheless, him and Tanuki will have to endure shady men, snarky divas, and get through the entire Hoenn League—all while trying to just put up with life.


_Before we begin, I'd like to point out that this is my __second__ story, therefor, it has decreased priority on my list. This means that it may not always be updated as frequently as either you _or_ me would like. I will do my best to keep it going at a reasonable pace, but just be aware of this. Thank you for your time and consideration!_

**Chapter One**

* * *

_Ring ring ring!_

An orange alarm clock suddenly went off, the sound as pleasant to the ears as its searing colors were to the eyes. Beneath the warm covers of his bed, a boy moaned in protest, momentarily forgetting what day it was. He squeezed his eyes shut, retreating further into the comfort of the thick blanket that draped his bed. But the alarm clock wasn't going to give up that easily, continuing it's onslaught of noise. For a few minutes, he thought maybe he could ignore it, but no matter how long he waited, it just seemed to get louder. "Fine, you win," he moaned. "Or at the least, I can hit the snooze button. It's summer, anyways. Why did I even set the stupid thing?" Slowly Kale pushed the covers off, his motions groggy and somewhat slurred. When he finally got up, he paused before silencing the furious clock. 5:53 AM, it read. Now he really wondered why he had set the alarm. Anything _that_ early had to be a sign that something was up. He closed his eyes again for a second, searching his memories. Then suddenly it hit him: Professor Birch's lab opened at six! Today was his twelfth birthday, and he had been planning to celebrate by choosing his starter Pokemon today! Birch had announced instead of the default Torchic, Treecko and Mudkip this time, he'd be offering three Pokemon all the way from Kalos, coincidentally right on the date of his birthday. It had been the talk of the town, and every new trainer wanted their hands on one of these special foreign Pokemon. Of course, he'd really have to book it if he wanted to get from Petalburg to Littleroot in time, which all came back to him setting the alarm to 5:50. "Oh Groudon!" Kale said suddenly. "I need to get going!"

At near lightning speed Kale got dressed and ready, half shoving on his green jacket and cap, positioning them correctly as he flew down the stairs. He even skipped breakfast, knowing the three coveted starter Pokemon might be gone if he wasted another second. As he jumped out the door, he noticed his dad's Tropius was still asleep. That wouldn't do. He had been relying on it to be awake so it could fly him to Littleroot. Otherwise he knew he'd be late. "Get up!" He barked as Kale jumped on the Pokemon's back. It woke in an instant, letting out a startled _Tro! _and bucking him off. An unfazed but flustered Trainer-to-be sprang back up and got quickly back onto the Tropius. It grumbled in annoyance, but lifted it's wings and began to flap anyways, knowing what the young human wanted. Soon enough the both of them were up, soaring in the air.

Kale had expected the air to be relatively clear, but the sky traffic showed him that flying had been more than just his own idea. Tropius strained to dodge its airborne competitors, but it was still bumped and shoved like a pinball. There were many times Kale thought he'd be sent plummeting to the earth below. He managed to hold on, though, urging his father's Tropius forward. It seemed to get more and more furious every time it was pushed aside, and suddenly it looked like it was about to become a personal matter for the Grass-type. Pretty soon it was crashing into every Pokemon in sight with its powerful Body Slam. Kale was shook up a little in the process, but did nothing to stop his companion's rampage, if not even encourage it a few times.

* * *

When Kale got to Littleroot, his spirits dropped an octave. Many people were already leaving the lab with disappointment clear on their faces. He sighed, hoping it had nothing to do with the Kalos starters. He slowly dismounted the Tropius, patting it and leaving it by a small oak tree. He approached the door, hesitating, before turning the handle and walking inside. "Professor Birch?" He called.

"Kale?" Someone replied. Professor Birch appeared from behind a stuffed bookshelf. "Oh, it is you! Your mom said you'd be here."

"Oh, she did now?" Kale said, walking up to the Professor. He noticed a Pokeball in his hand, and suddenly his heart leaped. Had he actually made it in time? That would have been a miracle sent by Arceus. "Hey, is that for me?" He asked suddenly.

"Lucky guess," the Professor said with a smile. He had always liked Professor Birch. He was a thoughtful, albeit slightly scatterbrained, person who he could relate to. His dad had introduced him to Kale at a young age, and they had been good friends since.

"Which one did you save?" He asked, bouncing excitedly.

"Well, it's not quite a Kalos Pokemon..." He said in a slightly sheepish tone. "I have a feeling you'll like him, though. Tanuki!" He called. The sound of tiny claws scratching on tile responded, approaching quickly. He was slightly disheartened by the fact that it wasn't an actual Kalos starter, but surely he had something good planned for him anyways, right? Like an Eevee or a Pikachu. Kale had heard tales of cool compensation Pokemon being given out when real starters were unavailable. But when the Pokemon the Professor had beckoned, his stomach did a flip.

"_That_ is Tanuki?" He asked, gulping.

"Yup," Birch replied, picking up a tubby and adorable, but enormously underwhelming, Zigzagoon. "I hope you don't mind. I know you really tried to get one of those other starters, and for that I'm sorry, but the problem is that everyone else did, too. In the end, it was just a matter of bad luck. That aside though, it might amuse you to know that three years ago it was this very Pokemon who attacked me, heh. An embarrassing ordeal, to say the least, but the lab assistants loved it so much I couldn't say no to it. I, however, feel it will grow much better with an actual trainer. This is his." He handed the Pokeball over to Kale, who looked at it disbelievingly. Was a Zigzagoon, the most common as dirt Pokemon in Hoenn, really going to be his starter? He momentarily put down the Pokeball, picking 'Tanuki' for inspection like a Tepig ham. He was a tubby specimen, he had to give it that, but other than the cuteness aspect there was nothing particularly special about the Zigzagoon that cooed excitedly in his arms. It wasn't even shiny.

"Anything I should, uh, know about Tanuki here?" Kale asked, putting the Pokemon down.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Take this." The Professor handed him a small, lined sheet of paper with several notes scribble on it.

"What's this?"

"Just some information on Tanuki. So you can use him to his fullest in battle and such."

"Oh. Okay, well, it says here," he began, "that his name is Tanuki. Knew that. He is a Zigzagoon. Knew that too. His weight is 46 pounds." He looked down briefly at his new friend, raising a joking eyebrow, which was quickly returned by the Pokemon. "You should add that he's a little smart aleck," Kale grumbled. "Anyways, returning to the topic at hand; He knows the moves Tackle, Grass Knot, and Dig. And, what's this? His ability is Quick Feet? Aren't Zigzagoon with Quick Feet supposed to be rare?" Kale asked. Professor Birch nodded with a smile.

"Yes indeed. I knew you'd find that interesting. I can see I'm leaving Tanuki in good hands."

"Yeah, well, it's hard to ignore that face," he laughed, picking the Pokemon back up and stroking it's spiky fur. "I guess you're at least slightly unique. That's good enough for me."

_"Goon! Zagoon-goon!" _It yipped happily.

"Anyways, thanks for Tanuki, Professor. I'm still a little underwhelmed, but it was thoughtful of you to save your friend here for me."

"No problem!" He said happily, waving off the two as they walked out the door.

* * *

That had gone well. That had gone really well. Kale had walked out with an extra large mouth to feed and no Kalos starter in hand, but by his side was a plump, sweet Zigzagoon with the defining feature of a much sought ability. Not only that, but it was so hard not to look at it without going _aww_, even for a twelve year old boy. No wonder Professor Birch's assistants had loved it so much. He wondered what they were going to say when they found out their pet had been given away.

Kale looked over at his dad's Tropius, giving it the hand signal that meant "go home." It nodded and began to flap its wings, taking off in the direction of Petalburg City. With that, he turned toward Route 101, a fitting place to begin his journey. But then again, what's a near perfect day without something to ruin it?

"Well well well, look at this! Little ol' Kale seems to have got his first Pokemon. What'd you get? A Latios? A Salamence? Oh, nope, just a Zigzagoon. Totally my bad!" Reluctantly Kale turned to the voice, already having a guess as to who it was. To his dismay, he was right: Basil. Basil was a snooty girl from Rustboro City who frequently came to Petalburg to observe Norman. She was two years younger than Kale and had turned ten only three months ago, but seemed in perpetual belief that she was tenfold better than him. She had practically stalked Norman in hopes of being the best Trainer ever when she was finally old enough to get her starter, but he still thought her huge ego would keep her from getting _anywhere_ in life. Nonetheless though, when he looked down he noticed a yellow, fox-like Pokemon standing beside her. "Like it?" Basil said with a sneer. "She's a one hundred percent purebred Fennekin, all the way from _Kalos_. I call her Kitsune, a pretty name by _anyone's_ standard, with a capital D for Duh. Far more glamorous than that mangy little rag you're calling a starter." A low growl came from Tanuki, and Kale had to urge it back a little with his foot, invoking a turned up nose from Basil's Fennekin.

"His name is Tanuki, and for your information he is no mangy rag," Kale said indignantly. "He even has his Hidden Ability. I'll bet all your Kitsune has is the default Blaze."

"I... well... I mean... oh, it doesn't matter what her Ability is! She's still better than some slightly less average-than-normal Zigzagoon. Anyways, whatever, Kale. You know, no one even likes kale. It's bitter and ugly, just like you. Here, have this as a reminder. It's the color of puke, like kale." She shoved an emerald green Pokedex at Kale with a big sarcastic grin. She pulled out a sparkling sapphire blue one of her own, flaunting it like some sort of designer dress. "See, aren't you glad I got two? I mean, yours is totally gross compared to my amazing gem of awesomeness, but I guess if you were willing to accept a Zigzagoon as your starter you'd be willing to take a piece of cardboard if I offered it to you. I knew that old fool Birch would forget to give you one, so I asked his assistant Professor Willow to give me two for just such an occasion." He opened his mouth to reply, but no words came to him. It was hard to combat the truth; the Professor had indeed forgotten his Pokedex, a tool almost as important as the starter itself, but she made it sound so undignified. Like the Professor had come to work in his underwear or something. Everyone forgot stuff once in awhile. There was _no way_ Basil herself was perfect. But even if he could come up with something to say, it didn't even matter. His rival was already off, the swagger in her step infuriating. "Whatever, later Kale. I'll be seeing you when I look down from the top of the social ladder!" And with that, she was off, sauntering into Route 101 with her Fennekin following.

"Well, Tanuki," he said, looking down at his friend, "we just got over obstacle number one. It's gonna be a downhill walk from here until out next challenge, and I know for a fact that by the power of Rayquaza, we'll be ready for whatever Hoenn throws at us by then!"

_"Zigzagoon! Zagoon-goon!"_


End file.
